Rantings at Christmastime

When I decided to leave my maternal nation and venture out into the great unknown; Europe, I didn't realize that it would so hard to keep my two halves running together smoothly. I mean, on one hand, I love and miss everyone back home a lot. I did live and coexist with everyone there for the good part of 17 years. They are always near in my thoughts and prayers. There isn't really anything that I do where their thoughts of me and their opinions don't cross my mind. Sometimes, I have to remind myself that I really am on the other side of the Ocean. My life is literally separated into two worlds. While I have so many people who I care for back "home", there are so many people here who mean so much to me too. Why is life so complicated??? Actually, why does my life always end up being so complicated???

Sometimes, okay so a lot of times, I feel really guilty when start to enjoy life here or I learn to love someone here because, maybe all of them back there will think that I am trying to replace them. That just is simply not the case. There is nothing in the workd that could replace you all. I have the greatest family in the world. While logically, we're kinda weird, I love them all so much. I know that I am really blessed in life because I am surrounded by the most amazing people in the world. My mom is one of the most beautiful, smartest, and most wonderful women in the entire world. I can't ever imagine not having her in my life. My dad is great too. He is sooo funny. I describe him as a huge teddy bear. *Dad, before you object, think back to that day in the movie theater way back during the rugrat's movie. Remember Spike?? Haha. It's not your fault that you are just super sensitive =) Kaley Jo, I love you so much that words can't even describe it. It's so weird to be away from you. You make my life happy =) Don't worry, I'll be back before you know it. In addition to my lovely immediate family, I have a crazy/incredible extended family too. I am really going to miss the family Christmas party this year. I love going and seeing all of my family that actually means something to me. Aunt Joyce, I miss you sooo much too. I miss going to the Flea Market with you and to the Hartville Kitchen. In the first few weeks that I return, we have a date.. Okay?? I also miss sitting with you in church =) Everyone else, Uncle John, Aunt Mel and Uncle Rod, Betty Thorpe, Dani and Logan and Amber and Kay and Mike and all the rest that I'm forgetting, you guys are so great. I am so lucky that I have you. And I can't forget Aunt Lo Ann and Uncle Jack either, you guys are super cool too =) I'll see y'all in August.

In addition to my family, there are so many other great people that make being away at Christmas hard. Here's to you all; My wonderful church family. Dave and Jan, Doug and Ann, George and Shirley, Mary Ebert, Pudge, Katya and Dan, Nancy and Alan, Sandy and her girls, Shari and all the Ted's and Dane (and Odie too), Betsy, Eleanor, Lois, Lisa and Seth, Brian and Gail, and everyone else that I am in the process of forgetting. I am sorry that I can't name everyone. It's not that you're forgotten, just that I don't have enough room =)
Also, everyone who had a part with my life. Madame... There is just too much to say. I'm not sure if I will ever be able to explain in words my thanks and gratitude to you. You are such an amazing woman. I'm sorry that these few phrases are not even enough to cover anything. I love you so much. Leslie, you changed my life this summer. I had such a great time with you and your two girls. You will always stay in my heart =)

To all of my friends, you are crazy and I miss your guts. Leigh Ann, I know that you're busy with college. I hope that it is going well. Not a day goes by when I don't think of you and all of the craziness and great times that we've had *haha. madonna video. enough said =P
Ruby, haha. I tell everyone that I have one of the coolest best friends ever. Hehe. Desk Girl forever. Tamara, BFF's since day one (okay, more like since kindergarten but, who's counting anyways???) Haha. I'm so glad that we don't fight like cats and dogs anymore. I think that that is how I know that we were meant to be best friends forever. Adèle, my crazy french sister. I don't ask questions. Bry, it's weird and I miss you and can't wait to see you. Chas, haha. lemon wedding cake =P Rachie, you're so pretty. Tennis. Summer. Kay? Kimmie, don't waste a single second of your senior year. It's already halfway gone!! Aleta, DI rules =), And to all of the rest, Casey (dweeb), Betsy Boop, Sarah M. Sarah F. Mary, Tyler and Rachel, haha Jason (loser), the cirones, Lindsay Lou, Kacy, Melinda, Sarah B. (we're partying it up this summer chez toi!!) Jill (haha. GEMS girls all of the way!) Christine (we go way way way back girlie!!) I think that I have forgotten so many people but, I need to be done. Thinking about all of you is too hard.

The point of this blog wasn't at all to do what I ended up doing. I wanted to make you all understand that while I miss you all and think of you, I still end up having a good time here in France. I absolutely love everyone here. They are all soo cute. I am sad that I'm spending Christmas away from everyone but, at the same time, I am excited about discovering a french Christmas. I feel really selfish sometimes when I realize that I'm not really homesick and haven't really been yet. I feel a little torn. It's not that I don't love you all, it's just that I want to be open minded. I hope that you all understand. It's really important that you do. I'm not replacing you, I'm just expanding.